18 years ago today
On Jan 2, 1989 my father passed away after waging a six month battle against multi-systemic cancer. He met this battle with grace and courage that showed me the true measure of the man he was. I will always admire him for the way he met and waged that battle.
My father was a complex man who never seemed to wholly get beyond his time in Vietnam. I don't know what he did over there, since his mission was classified then, but I do know that whatever it was defined the rest of his life.
In many ways, my dad was an overgrown kid. I was a solemn child raised by women in their sixties, and my weekly visits with my father were the times I was carefree and was a typical kid. I needed those times more than anyone knew.
My father was the one person who understood me wholly. I was an enigma to a lot of people when I was young, but my father was able to easily see who I was and what I was about. I loved and admired him more than words can say.
He was a scrappy fighter, never reaching his potential. He had many different jobs in his life, from retail manager, to insurance salesman, to owner of a jewelry company. He was brilliant, quick witted, moody, full of life. He was the most genuine person I'd known.
My father's legacy lives in me. I have a very lighthearted and teasing side that comes out occassionally. He fostered my love for music and took me to my first concerts. Many of the "fun" activities of my childhood revolved around him, from concerts, to amusement parks, to Sunday afternoons playing Pac Man.
He was taken away from us far too young. But in those moments, as his body failed him, I saw the purest form of who he was and he will forever have my admiration for his courage. I know he tried to shield me from some of the horrors of his illness, though I could see him starving to death.
One story that perfectly illustrates my father is this. When he was so sick, he often became nauseous. He convinced one of his friends (also his nurse) to bring him in something to smoke that would help his nausea. He was absolutely unrepentant, saying that he deserved a little peace.
I hope he has it now. Rest in Peace, Dad. I wish I could have just one more moment with you.
My father was a complex man who never seemed to wholly get beyond his time in Vietnam. I don't know what he did over there, since his mission was classified then, but I do know that whatever it was defined the rest of his life.
In many ways, my dad was an overgrown kid. I was a solemn child raised by women in their sixties, and my weekly visits with my father were the times I was carefree and was a typical kid. I needed those times more than anyone knew.
My father was the one person who understood me wholly. I was an enigma to a lot of people when I was young, but my father was able to easily see who I was and what I was about. I loved and admired him more than words can say.
He was a scrappy fighter, never reaching his potential. He had many different jobs in his life, from retail manager, to insurance salesman, to owner of a jewelry company. He was brilliant, quick witted, moody, full of life. He was the most genuine person I'd known.
My father's legacy lives in me. I have a very lighthearted and teasing side that comes out occassionally. He fostered my love for music and took me to my first concerts. Many of the "fun" activities of my childhood revolved around him, from concerts, to amusement parks, to Sunday afternoons playing Pac Man.
He was taken away from us far too young. But in those moments, as his body failed him, I saw the purest form of who he was and he will forever have my admiration for his courage. I know he tried to shield me from some of the horrors of his illness, though I could see him starving to death.
One story that perfectly illustrates my father is this. When he was so sick, he often became nauseous. He convinced one of his friends (also his nurse) to bring him in something to smoke that would help his nausea. He was absolutely unrepentant, saying that he deserved a little peace.
I hope he has it now. Rest in Peace, Dad. I wish I could have just one more moment with you.
posted by Breezy at 7:05 AM
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