Five years ago tomorrow...
Five years ago, on November 8, 2001, Mark and I got married.
We first met on the Internet in 1999, after a friend pulled me into a chat room to meet a married guy she was interested in.
Mark was telecommuting that day, something he never does. He and his then-wife and I struck up a conversation and I had to wrench myself away at four in the morning. When I signed off, I knew Mark was going to be a significant presence in my life.
We became very close friends over the next year, as his marriage dissolved and he began living as a single man for the first time since his teens. We talked every day, and I grew to care deeply for him, but never admitted it to him, for myriad reasons.
In early April, 2001, he began to start dating, and I had to face how emotionally draining it was on me. On my 30th birthday, I decided that I had to let his friendship go, because it could never work for us and I was way too emotionally involved. I avoided him for a few days, unable to sever the bond we had. Then, he called me and asked what the problem was. I explained all my insecurities and things I'd kept from him. There was a long pause, broken only by static. Then, he said the words that forever changed both of our lives "I only have one question to ask. Will you marry me?"
I still remember my reaction, a combination of shock and hope. I said yes, stunned that he'd even consider marrying me when he hadn't even see a recent pic of me. But that was what made Mark so special...he'd fallen in love with my heart, my soul
and my mind. We first met two weeks later when I flew to Australia. It was the trip of a lifetime, made all the more sweet by the man who was beside me, through the Outback, in big cities and small. We got to know each other personally then and forged a bond that transcended romance or friendship.
In November, he came over for a visit, and while he was here and we were investigating the hoops we'd have to go through to get him a spousal visa in the wake of 9/11, we were told that if we got married spontaneously, he would be able to adjust his status with Immigration at a later date. We debated this for a few days then decided to go for it.
Forty-eight hours later, we'd lined up a lawyer who would officiate,purchased our wedding rings, I had an non-traditional wedding outfit, and he had a new suit. None of our families could make it--all of his were in Australia and mine in Rhode Island.
Two very good friends were our witnesses and the ceremony was done in five minutes. It was the beginning of a new phase in both of our lives.
Five years later, our bond has only strengthened and firmed. We barely resemble the people we were that day, love and support and companionship has changed both of us in so many ways.
Next week, we'll be celebrating and renewing our vows in Las Vegas, with Mark's eldest son and new daughter-in-law by our sides. Seeing the kids is the best present either of us could give the other.
Today, Mark apologized for not having gotten me a present. We're forgoing presents this anniversary to celebrate with our family next week, though I cheated and got Mark a book from his favorite author. And regarding presents, ah, but he has given
me one incredible present. I have a constant companion in him, a best friend who shows me the woman I can be. He gave me himself five years ago and that is the most precious gift any two people can share.
Happy anniversary, Schmoopie Bear! Here's to the future!
We first met on the Internet in 1999, after a friend pulled me into a chat room to meet a married guy she was interested in.
Mark was telecommuting that day, something he never does. He and his then-wife and I struck up a conversation and I had to wrench myself away at four in the morning. When I signed off, I knew Mark was going to be a significant presence in my life.
We became very close friends over the next year, as his marriage dissolved and he began living as a single man for the first time since his teens. We talked every day, and I grew to care deeply for him, but never admitted it to him, for myriad reasons.
In early April, 2001, he began to start dating, and I had to face how emotionally draining it was on me. On my 30th birthday, I decided that I had to let his friendship go, because it could never work for us and I was way too emotionally involved. I avoided him for a few days, unable to sever the bond we had. Then, he called me and asked what the problem was. I explained all my insecurities and things I'd kept from him. There was a long pause, broken only by static. Then, he said the words that forever changed both of our lives "I only have one question to ask. Will you marry me?"
I still remember my reaction, a combination of shock and hope. I said yes, stunned that he'd even consider marrying me when he hadn't even see a recent pic of me. But that was what made Mark so special...he'd fallen in love with my heart, my soul
and my mind. We first met two weeks later when I flew to Australia. It was the trip of a lifetime, made all the more sweet by the man who was beside me, through the Outback, in big cities and small. We got to know each other personally then and forged a bond that transcended romance or friendship.
In November, he came over for a visit, and while he was here and we were investigating the hoops we'd have to go through to get him a spousal visa in the wake of 9/11, we were told that if we got married spontaneously, he would be able to adjust his status with Immigration at a later date. We debated this for a few days then decided to go for it.
Forty-eight hours later, we'd lined up a lawyer who would officiate,purchased our wedding rings, I had an non-traditional wedding outfit, and he had a new suit. None of our families could make it--all of his were in Australia and mine in Rhode Island.
Two very good friends were our witnesses and the ceremony was done in five minutes. It was the beginning of a new phase in both of our lives.
Five years later, our bond has only strengthened and firmed. We barely resemble the people we were that day, love and support and companionship has changed both of us in so many ways.
Next week, we'll be celebrating and renewing our vows in Las Vegas, with Mark's eldest son and new daughter-in-law by our sides. Seeing the kids is the best present either of us could give the other.
Today, Mark apologized for not having gotten me a present. We're forgoing presents this anniversary to celebrate with our family next week, though I cheated and got Mark a book from his favorite author. And regarding presents, ah, but he has given
me one incredible present. I have a constant companion in him, a best friend who shows me the woman I can be. He gave me himself five years ago and that is the most precious gift any two people can share.
Happy anniversary, Schmoopie Bear! Here's to the future!
posted by Breezy at 6:07 PM
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