Dear Mr. Landlord
An open letter to my landlord...
Dear Mr. Landlord,
We understand that you don't really give two bits about the structural integrity of the house we rent. This is particularly ironic because you want us to purchase it after the lease is up. Let me give you a little advice when dealing with future tenants.
When we tell you this dishwasher leaks, please don't act incredulous. I realize that you and your wife never used the thing or cooked in the however many years you lived here, but sorry, we WOULD like to use the dishwasher.
When you finally determine that yes it IS leaking, please don't send a 16 yr old 'plumber' who doesn't speak a word of English and just shrugs and walks out...AFTER arriving at 10 PM!
When you tell us it is fixed and we try again, only to have massive puddles of boiling hot water on the floor, please don't whine that you have to send someone else out and that it is just our imagination.
When your next person comes out at 6:45 AM please understand our frustration that twice we've had no notice about these visits. And when this person too has not a clue and doesn't even pull the dishwasher out to check the plumbing connections don't act like we're the idiots here.
When a severe windstorm causes siding to rip off the wall between our unit and the next, please don't complain about having to come out. You've only been out here once since we moved in five months previously.
When you get here, please don't act annoyed and tell us it isn't your problem. Part of YOUR house is exposed to the elements, fucktard!
And now, when we tell you that the wood is ROTTING around the front door, PLEASE for the love of GOD, INFORM us when your people are coming over to inspect things. I work from home and it would be nice to have a little notice before your minions are trotting around my house. It would also be nice if your minions would be able to communicate with me beyond hand motions and the word 'door'.
As I sit here, my concentration fractured and my ear tuned to sounds of the doorbell ringing, or, dare I say it, the door opening, I'm cursing you, Mr. Landlord.
May I soon be in my OWN domain and never have to deal with you again!
Dear Mr. Landlord,
We understand that you don't really give two bits about the structural integrity of the house we rent. This is particularly ironic because you want us to purchase it after the lease is up. Let me give you a little advice when dealing with future tenants.
When we tell you this dishwasher leaks, please don't act incredulous. I realize that you and your wife never used the thing or cooked in the however many years you lived here, but sorry, we WOULD like to use the dishwasher.
When you finally determine that yes it IS leaking, please don't send a 16 yr old 'plumber' who doesn't speak a word of English and just shrugs and walks out...AFTER arriving at 10 PM!
When you tell us it is fixed and we try again, only to have massive puddles of boiling hot water on the floor, please don't whine that you have to send someone else out and that it is just our imagination.
When your next person comes out at 6:45 AM please understand our frustration that twice we've had no notice about these visits. And when this person too has not a clue and doesn't even pull the dishwasher out to check the plumbing connections don't act like we're the idiots here.
When a severe windstorm causes siding to rip off the wall between our unit and the next, please don't complain about having to come out. You've only been out here once since we moved in five months previously.
When you get here, please don't act annoyed and tell us it isn't your problem. Part of YOUR house is exposed to the elements, fucktard!
And now, when we tell you that the wood is ROTTING around the front door, PLEASE for the love of GOD, INFORM us when your people are coming over to inspect things. I work from home and it would be nice to have a little notice before your minions are trotting around my house. It would also be nice if your minions would be able to communicate with me beyond hand motions and the word 'door'.
As I sit here, my concentration fractured and my ear tuned to sounds of the doorbell ringing, or, dare I say it, the door opening, I'm cursing you, Mr. Landlord.
May I soon be in my OWN domain and never have to deal with you again!
posted by Breezy at 6:48 AM
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