The tales of cluelessness

I've had a couple of requests for this from friends who were either there or WISH they had been there (TRUST me, you don't!).

Without further ado, here is the clueless story.

At the end of the book fair atRT, the line was gargantuan. I hopped into line with an Ec author in front of me and a lady who owns a promo company behind me. A reviewer was a couple of people up from us and we all chatted on and off as we waited.

About twenty minutes into the line, a gentleman comes up and zeroes in on the EC author. He asks if he can stand with us. We all shrug and he hops into line with us. His badge reads that he is an agent so I wondered if he might do some industry chat. Not only was the thought crushed in short order, but the tale got very bizarre very fast.

He introduced himself as an agent and we all nodded politely. We were all from different facets of the industry...reviewers, authors, promo company owner, editor...should have been interesting.

Only if you like cluelessness.

First thing he asks is what is that Ellora thing. Erm...he WAS at the same convention I was...right? The one with the Weds. night EC sponsored party? Okay...maybe he hadn't made it in until later. Agents are busy people. So, we explain that Ellora's Cave is an E and print publisher that specializes in erotic romance.

Oh, this got him started. One of his two clients writes erotic romance. Actually, after checking her wesbite, it seems that she writes paranormal romantic suspense, but who's checking! The other, by the way, is published through a vanity press.

He knew all and we knew nothing, His agency's editors could run circles around those from 'that Ellora place' and he had book distribution set up that would leave EC in the dust.

Mmhmm...okkkkay!

Let's not even get into what an agent does here...the audacity just astounded me.

He then began ruminating on audio books and how erotic romances would sell much better if they were exclusively in audio and every scene was acted out. Okkkay.

He then went on to ask what that thing was on all the convention bags. We all looked as clueless as he was apparently, because he specified HQN. We told him that stood for the new single title impring from Harlequin and he looked terminally confused.

And oh, how many times did we hear that he didn't want to stand in the line, he was too imortant, he was a busy man, etc. I would have pointed him to the clueless agents line but there didn't seem to be one :P

For almost two HOURS we were regaled by his 'expert knowledge' of erotic romance, of all facets of the industry, yadda yadda. Needless to say, his opinions/ ides were either totally ignorant or just plain totally wrong, though he actually had a passable idea once or twice.

Things like EC NEEDED him to get in good financial shape, erotic romance is doing badly etc etc etc etc etc. Don't preach to me oh agent who needs to visit the clue factory STAT!

My ears were bleeding!

I'll see if the other folks in line can drop by and give you their impressions!

Be concerned with agencies where their only clients are staff members!